Things You'll Only Understand If You're A Homo Sapiens

(Sorry, Grumpy Cat. This post is not for you.)

I've had a not so life-changing but nonetheless interesting revelation as of late: the more I use the internet, the more I hate using the internet.

It's not the internet itself so much as everything that it hosts (I've posted about technology before, and this may be similar in nature, but regardless, it's getting its own post). Now, I recognize the important functions of the web. I have a Facebook and enjoy using it to keep up with friends (especially while I've been abroad), display photos, share stories , make plans, and post witty statuses regarding whatever remarkable or semi-remarkable incident occurred that day (and actually, you probably wouldn't be reading this post if it weren't for Facebook). I have no shame in saying that I am dependent upon my email - communicating for group projects, getting information from companies, talking with professors, with advisers, etc. Email is so very useful. I've also been required to use the internet for various classes - either online classes or ones that post readings and links onto a group website. We check our grades through our school site, as well as register for classes. I'm partial to Netflix and YouTube (I'm listening to Human by Christina Perri on YouTube right now), and every now and then I find myself on Flickr checking out someone's photos of cities or people or ruins (check out this one of the ruins from Gary, Indiana, or this guy, who photographs all around New York but particularly the homeless and prostituted population. It gets real deep, real quick).

BUT, (you knew it was coming soon) despite the few things I enjoy, need, or even love, I'm pretty much over everything else. When I scroll my Facebook newsfeed, it seems that every other post is a link to some site. Generally, some quiz I need to take, or a list of things that will give me some insight into my life (Buzzfeed.com). I'll indulge every now and again - I believe this past week I took a quiz to find out that Jennifer Lawrence would play me in a movie version of my life, and I reposted a list of things that "only" Atlanta-natives understand (what can I say, it made me laugh). But aside from the occasional genuinely entertaining quizlet or list of inside jokes, there's nothing good (holy smokes, 99 channels and nothing's on). And yet I find myself wasting hours every day... where? On the internet.

So let's get serious, shall we? I think the onslaught of postings, quizzes, and general information stems from the natural human desire for affirmation (note: I forgot about merriam-webster.com. I definitely just used it to make sure I had the correct definition of "affirmation"). While this ties into a whole other topic of self-worth and self-image, I'm going to throw up an umbrella statement: people obtain positive affirmation through other people. Now, without internet, what does that mean? It actually forces conversation. A face-to-face chat. A phone call. Heck, a letter - those take time and effort. What does it mean with internet? It means one status update or photo post and then waiting for the likes to roll in.

It makes me sad. Partly, because it's transitioning people from relying on their close friends and family to relying on their large circle of acquaintances (I forego the word "friends" due to the number of people I know who have 1000+ Facebook friends. The absurdity that is the Facebook friending process is a topic for another day). And partly because even though I recognize it and hate it, I can more and more feel it affecting me. Things happen during the day and I find myself thinking "what's the most clever way to post this on Facebook?" Not so that it will be the most descriptive or informative, no, but so that it will obtain a respectable number of likes. Same with photos. I debate which one to set as a new profile picture and find these thoughts running through my mind: "How many likes did my last one get? What has been my most popular picture in the past few months? Should I use one that's more dramatic or candid?"

It's pathetic. I can own up to it. It's pathetic.

I think it's the same with all these quizlets and lists of things that "only xyz people will understand." It's the desire to be set apart from others, preferably in a favorable and likable manner (for the sake of not insulting anyone who reads this, I'll make fun of myself here):

You got Jennifer Lawrence for your movie alter-ego? Ohmigosh, I love Jennifer Lawrence!
You grew up in Atlanta? You understand the ridiculous number of streets named 'Peachtree'? Ohmigosh, I'm from Atlanta and get so confused by all of those!
You were a theater kid in high school? Isn't it just so funny how only theater kids understand theater kid life? Let's list all the reasons.
You have siblings? I have siblings! Here are all the things that kids without siblings will never understand about having siblings.

It's like a ridiculously expansive and intertwining but simultaneously exclusive mass of cliques. I can be in the Has Siblings clique, but not in the Has Sisters clique. I can be in the Climbing clique, but not the Lead Climbing clique. I can be in the College clique, but only the Textiles clique (although this semester I've actually wormed my way into the Design clique, and it's a pretty fun place to be. But even with my honorary design kid status, I still get left behind in conversations about classes and professors).

I think that little by little, people are learning to use these lists and quizzes to define themselves. And it makes me uncomfortable. If someone asked me to describe myself, I wouldn't say "well, I took a quiz on Buzzfeed and found out that if I were a Little Mermaid character I'd be Ursula" (which happened). I wouldn't say "well, my statuses always get a lot of likes and 'lol' comments, so I'd say I'm funny." And (unless I were a super hippy myself or talking to a super hippy) I wouldn't say "well my spirit animal is an eagle, so I'm independent and strong. And majestic."

No, I can think of much better ways to summarize myself, and I don't need a quiz to tell me if I'm doing it right or not, or in a way that "only people who really know Catherine will understand."

I think I'm just finally realizing how stupid all of these things are. They definitely possess an addictive quality, but as we all know, addictive substances are generally bad for you. So I'm going to try to get clean. More time doing productive things. Less time on Facebook. No time taking quizzes to find out what my favorite type of cheese says about my personality (btw, it's pepperjack and it wasn't even an option on that quiz).

And Jennifer, if my life ever does become a movie, I'll be cast as myself. The end.