If you asked my friends, "Is Catherine a feminist?" I feel pretty confident they'd mostly reply no. I don't post feminist articles. I don't post feminist statuses. I've actually on various occasions been known to say, "so I'm not a feminist, but..."
Overwhelmingly, the definition of "feminist" I see presented is still what I believe to be the feminist stereotype: a woman who is driven by her desire to out-do men, to show them that she is just as smart and capable in the workplace as they, and to prove to herself and others that she doesn't need others' approval (ironic, no?).
Occasionally, I see a feminist article which re-explains that the idea of feminism is not about emasculating men but rather elevating women to an equal tier. I like this. I like this quite a lot. And if this were the first definition that came to the majority's mind when they heard "feminist," I would gladly identify as one. But I'm afraid that's not the case. To me, even the word "feminism" indicates an attitude that females should be superior, just as "masculism" indicates an attitude of male superiority. If a guy told me he was for masculism, I would assume he considered masculinity superior and that he looked down on women. So when a girl tells me she's for feminism, I interpret it as she looks down on men. Therefore, I would classify the aforementioned idea as one of an "equalist." No, I'm not creating that term, I have read it before. But only once. Maybe I'll start using it more.
Yeah. Call me an Equalist.**
So now that I have a nice little label, let me explain what it means to me.
It means that I should not receive special treatment in the workplace due to the fact that I am female, but rather that I should expect the same respect, the same requirements, and the same pay-level as a male working the same position at the same company.
It means that I will appreciate chivalry, because I'm from the South and Southern women teach their boys to open the door for a girl. I will not view it as a slight to my physical ability to open my own door. I will, however, not stand next to the door and wait for a man to open it for me (unless both of my hands are fully occupied and I am incapable, in which case I reserve the right to ask anyone to open it).
It means that I'm not going to hit my guy friend, my brother, my (imaginary) boyfriend, because if he hit me it'd be abuse, and just because I may be smaller doesn't mean I can't do damage.
It means that I recognize the fact that if I go to the gym and wear spandex shorts and a sports bra, I will likely draw attention to myself in the same way that a guy who works out without a shirt on draws attention to himself. If I don't want that attention, I will do the only thing I can do, which is take responsibility for myself, and wear shorts and a shirt (there may be a whole other post about the lack of responsibility I see everywhere. But that's for another day).
It means that when I see a commercial like this one, I will recognize its validity even though I don't quite agree with its solution or movement. This commercial has become incredibly popular in the past week. I understand why - it's a very accurate and effective demonstration of the negativity associated with "like a girl." Now, I never really received this insult when I was a kid, but rather was often complemented for "keeping up with the boys." This was due to the fact that I have two older brothers who, from a very young age, taught me how to fight and play and wrestle and get hurt and then tough it out. I spent lots of time with them and their guy friends. And I prided myself on being accepted in their group. But despite me escaping this specific insult, I understand the harm it can do. But I don't think #likeagirl is the solution.
Because my question is this: why do we have to specify by "like a girl" or "like a boy" anyway? If we're talking sports, isn't "like an athlete" more logical? If we're talking mentality, isn't "like a child" or "like an adult" more appropriate?
If a stranger approached you and asked, "What are you?" what would your response be? Mine would be, "Excuse me?" And if they repeated the question, I would reply with, "Uhh... a person..." Because duh.
And that's exactly it. If they asked for a list of ways I define myself, "female" would certainly be on there, but first and foremost I'm a person, and therefore I expect to be treated like one. So while I have a body #likeagirl, that will not be my identification.
I will laugh #likeachild and play #likeanathlete. And I will live #likeaperson.
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**Today, a friend introduced me to the word "egalitarian." An Egalitarian, according to our friendly conversation and a speedy Google search, is one who "advocates or supports egalitarian principles," those principles including the belief that "all people are equal and deserve equal rights and opportunities." So there ya go. I'm an Egalitarian (thanks, Dustin).
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