Is This American Culture?

Few things make me want to pull my hair out more than a child who is selfish and ungrateful, kids who are uncontrolled and disrespectful. We see kids like that and think, "wow, what great parenting. They are going to be miserable teenagers." Which they are.

But maybe these kids aren't actually too far off point.

I think American society does an incredible job of creating two very different worlds for children and adults. As kids, we are taught to share belongings, be kind to everyone, put other people before ourselves, respect those in authority, say "please" and "thank you," and that you can't always get what you want just because you want it. The children that we enjoy babysitting are the ones who listen when we are talking, who follow our instructions, who go to bed on time and without a fight, who share toys with their siblings. Children's TV shows teach the same kinds of things - going out of your way to help someone, apologizing when you've done something wrong, etc. 

I've learned very different lessons in the adult world.

I've learned to be selfish: if I want something, I should get it, regardless of the methods necessary to obtain it (because the end justifies the means).

To be ungrateful: what I currently have isn't good enough, because having the best car, phone, clothes, etc. gives me status.

To be uncontrolled and impulsive: I should get what I want right when I want it. 

To focus on myself: I should say what I think, regardless of how kind of unkind it is; if people can't handle it, obviously they're too sensitive, so they just have to figure out how to deal. If other people are blocking my way to success, I should step on them, climb over them, throw them under the bus (people will vote me for prom queen then, right?).

To bend or break the rules: if I think they're stupid, they shouldn't apply to me. I should get around them however I want.

To blame someone else: if passing blame, or simply not owning up, gets me further, do it. Honestly isn't important when being honest could affect me negatively in the short-run.

To hold a grudge: if I'm hurt by someone I shouldn't forgive and forget, I should hold onto it and use it to hurt the person back.

To measure my success by money or relationship status: If I want to be successful, I'll have money. And if I don't have money but want to be happy, I'll be in a relationship. 

I can't say that this is purely American culture, I can only know how often I see this exhibited in the culture at home. I look at these themes, which are always evident in films, books, shows, etc., and can't help but think that if this is the adult I'm told to become in order to be "successful," - if growing up means being selfish, blaming my peers, being bitter - I'd rather keep acting like a kid. I'd rather forgive readily and forget quickly, love easily, and share freely.